1. The ‘Expert’
You don’t even have to look for these individuals in the gym or the workplace. They find you! One minute you’re happily working away and the next you have the self proclaimed ‘expert’ at your shoulder, detailing their every achievement within the business not to mention their last 12 months’ billings. These guys like to think they own the place and are more than happy to jump into your bosses shoes should they be out of the office (think Sally from Corrie). These “experts” often find the most inconvenient time to interrupt you to offer their unwanted words of wisdom and take great pleasure in pointing out everything that you are doing incorrectly.
2. The ‘Loud Mouth’
There’s no doubting this person is in the gym, you can usually hear them before you see them and it’s no different in the work place. You can hear their phone calls, they talk as they type and generally just strut around the office like a peacock making out they’re far superior then they ever actually are. Don’t be the person who constantly crows, be the one who lets their figures do the talking!
3. The ‘Instagram Model’
These individuals are not limited to either sex, these are the ‘uber-confident’ types you see constantly snapping pictures of themselves in the mirror to post on social media. The same people who need to ‘check in’ every time they return to their desk, usually found snapping some ‘flat lay’ photo of their lunch and Starbucks mocha-choca-skinny-frappe-latte-tai-chino. If they’re not taking up the equipment in your local gym (don’t worry they usually get bored come February) then they’re chewing your ear off all day at the office with tales of their weekend antics and new personal best deadlift.
4. The ‘Combat Carl’
Every gym has one of these guys, the wannabe SAS trooper. They’re the one in every office who can’t start a morning conversation without jabbing you and giving you a dead arm, like seriously, what’s that all about?
If this describes you and your desire to be a fighter of some sort, go work at a facility that has space for you to do these things! Combat Carls amongst you take note, we are not impressed, nor intimidated by your punchy little ‘hi there’ jabs (even after our double espresso) so don’t make us call HR…
5. The ‘Lost Soul’
You’re bound to see this person if you have been a regular at the gym, they’re the new members in need of guidance, in the office they’re often the rookies. With the annoying habit of talking at you rather than to you, and usually accompanied by a nervous laugh when they finally stop talking to draw breath. These grads are bursting with nervous energy and enjoy nothing more than wandering around the office, chatting by the water cooler and trying to look busy because they’re just not sure what they should be doing next. Help these guys out, remember you were in their shoes once (just hopefully less annoying).
If you think we’ve missed any characters, we’d love to hear from you…